The Art Of Love.

 The Art Of Love.

 

Love is a beautiful thing, provided the other party shares your feelings and they are the right person for you. It is a selfless act. The very moment you start caring more about someone else’s best interest over yours and prioritizing them, then my dear friend you are in love.

Now that you are in love, this feeling can either make your life more beautiful or destroy it completely – it’s no longer about you and you are now at the mercy of the other party.
Your actions start becoming unexplainable, indescribable and people around you start questioning your sanity; you can either start smiling at your phone over silly things or crying for nothing. Your emotion is in tatters, no one else understands you against your previous self.

Falling in love with someone is a gradual process and happens over time. The love lifecycle begins from the initial attraction to the deep conversation that now gives birth to romance. Now, this is the part that determines where the relationship is heading, you can either have an intense feeling of affection which in most cases may lead to obsession or extreme jealousy.

You are now in love – the issue of maintenance is another factor and this also goes into various paths. Because you are afraid to lose what you have, it’s now a challenge and you start “over protecting” by asking “where were you”, “who were you with “, “what were you doing”, “what time did you leave work” amongst others – now here is the funny part, from your angle you care and love your partner but to your partner and the world, you are controlling! 

Of course, it’s amazing to show how much you care about someone but in the process don’t chase them away as a result of your “caring” actions. You can care so much about someone to the point that they are now scared of you. You can care without being obsessed, no doubt when you love someone you want to show them how much you love them – know the boundaries.

The fact that your message means well doesn’t mean the other party is receiving it well. Jealousy is another factor that needs to be addressed, both genders are built to be jealous – one just handles it better than the other. That you are shouting all over the market square does not prove that you are more jealous than the other person; it’s just your way of handling the situation. The quiet one might be hurting more.

It’s very natural to be jealous over issues that you are not comfortable with, if you are not jealous of your partner going on “dates” with a “friend” then it means you either don’t love them much or you are also busy with your own thing and it’s a relief.

To make a relationship work then both parties must understand that you are two different people from different backgrounds, different homes, different society or community and probably different races or religions. All these factors make you as an individual, imagine someone that grew up in a village somewhere in Lahore, Pakistan in love with another one from a village near Nairobi in Kenya – Now the challenges to make that relationship work are enormous but love supersedes any obstacle, provided both parties are in the know of these differences and understand that all these factors contribute to actions and reactions of that individual you are in love with.

Compromise – you can’t have a successful relationship or marriage without compromise. You can’t stand football and in love with a soccer fan, kindly get your jersey and start learning more about his team – You dislike window shopping with a passion and in love with a shopper, well you now love window shopping too. Your life used to be about you and it was always your decision on what you do and how you do it. The moment you took that decision to love another person, you have lost that right – you are now two in one. You think together and you decide together. What is yours is now ours!.

Family – your both families are now “our” family. You can’t afford to separate one from the other because even when the relationship or marriage goes sour, your both families are related forever, especially when children are involved. His siblings are now yours too just as yours are now his. They don’t like you? Don’t worry - love them still, they would come around.

It’s hard, it’s tough – make it work for you. The grass is not always greener on the other side.