The Difference - The Respect and the Individuality.

The Difference - The Respect and the Individuality.

The moment you are in assumption that another person should understand you and agree with whatever you say or think then there is bound to be issues - either instantly or at a later date. For us as humans to do better, it is necessary to be challenged if not we are built to be at standstill in our comfort zone without any aspiration to step out and embrace change. Individuality is present in all beings at both physical and spiritual levels. 

The individuality of a being is in three stages. The part that’s visible to all – The Physical appearance, the second stage being the Ego, Mind, and Intelligence. The third stage is the Spiritual Identity of the soul – a soul is unique and individual to each person. If you know someone physically and not their state of mind or spirituality then you only know what they portray to you and not who they are. We are all guilty of this as we ignore that the individual uniqueness of a living being on a physical level is limited in comparison to their spiritual identity – before you join a mob in lynching that “thief” be sure you are not hitting a broken man that was just hungry.

Take a family for example – in a family of 6, the father is from a different background and the mother is from another entirely but they have come together to form a union and this union is surviving as a result of overcoming various challenges daily. They are able to come this far only because they both embrace the fact that they are two different people with two different personalities and individualities. It’s never an easy task to live with a stranger; many things will go wrong initially – while she loves to sing in the shower, he loves it quiet early in the morning. He doesn’t share his towel – well then so be it! Because she talks loud doesn’t mean she is disrespectful, that’s just who she is – he farts at any chance, well that’s who he is.

As the kids are growing, they are becoming different with a sharp contrast in personalities. Despite that they are from the same house with same parents, it won’t be a surprise to later have Miss Ruth spending any chance she has reading books and aspiring to be a medical doctor while Miss Susan can’t stand books and she is on the route to join a fashion school. This in anyway doesn’t mean that one is destined to be more successful than the other or that one should look down on the other. They are just two different people and it’s normal and acceptable to be different and for the two sisters to respect and encourage each other.

In the instance of a community – we humans are designed to be competitive and our nature is always about looking at others and aiming either to do better or happy that we are better than them but the downside there is that whoever you are looking up to or looking down on is aware of you and your moves. That you want a car and your neighbour owns 5 does not warrant you being envious – they are living their life according to their differences and individuality and you ought to accept and respect that. That they have it all doesn’t mean that they actually do, you are only seeing what they want you to see. A man with 5 cars and unstable health status is dreaming to trade place with you. Of course, you have no clue! Every living being is a separate and uniquely distinct individual.

In Friendship - for any friendship to last long then it is unavoidable to recognise your differences and individuality. Any failure to identify and recognise the differences and the distinct personality is definitely leading to a disaster which may be the end of that valued friendship. Look into the mirror, if you can agree that you are not perfect then why would you expect your friend to be perfect? Michael is a stingy kind that won’t share anything with anyone - that doesn’t make him a bad person, that’s just who he is. Andrew is using drugs, nah he is not a bad person, help him out by listening to him and understand his story – empathy will go a long way.

We must understand that it is very much possible to love a friend more than a sibling – the simple logic is the fact that you have a choice in selecting your friends and with your siblings – not a choice was given! You have to love them even when they can be annoying. 

With Colleagues - It’s practically impossible for you to reason like everyone on your project or in your office. You like it or not – you like your co-workers or not, it is mandatory and necessary to get along to get the project or metrics to the next level. You may understand your colleague better if only you can connect with them beyond the physical stage. 

The man in a designer suit may be going through hell in his marriage just as that lady office manager may be going through depression after giving birth or just battling a divorce. We humans are not smart enough to detach our personal life from our work life, an unhappy person at home will struggle to deliver or relate properly at work.

If Sarah your colleague doesn’t hang out with anyone from the office on social evenings – that doesn’t mean she is antisocial or a bad person – some people don’t like to mingle with people they don’t know well – accept her as she is. Okon has a very strong accent and you struggle to hear him speak, well just so you know – Okon is struggling to hear you too. Accept him just as he has accepted you and be as professional as possible. English comes with an accent just like various languages across the globe.

Cherish your own individuality and respect others’ individuality. The world is a better place when we understand that the man from the east is expected to act and respond differently to the man from the west.

Treat one another with courtesy, respect and understand the differences regardless of role, religion, tribe, status or age. It is okay and acceptable to be different – humans manifest their individuality when they fully develop their personality and talents which in turn defines their difference to others.