Why You Are Unhappy

Why You Are Unhappy

Happiness is a feeling, this feeling is so expensive and uncommon – many spend their entire life chasing it but only few end up successful. It is that feeling when you know life is good, when the universe is smiling at you and supporting your steps – It is the direct opposite of sadness!

This feeling is so comfortable and popular that it leaves no one behind, the rich and the poor, the employed and unemployed, the healthy and unhealthy, old or young – we are all familiar with it and desire it, to have it is simple but yet hard to come by. Many factors are connected to this pursuit and they are a determinant factor to the outcome of the pursuit.

Satisfaction – Majority of us are guilty of this, we already have what could possibly make us happy but we have our eyes over the fence and desire more, in the process we embraced unhappiness as a result of our inability to be satisfied with what we already have. There is absolutely nothing wrong in having desire for development and to do better in life but this is not applicable to everything. Let’s see the scenario below.

A student from an average family with say $100 pocket money for the month, the parents are struggling to make sure their child has at least a moderate life through school but this student got carried away in school and desires an iPhone or a Samsung, a very fast and well-known brand of laptop and they suddenly grew appetite for eating out with friends!

It is evident that such a student will get into trouble at some point because their appetite does not match their financial power.

Contentment - One gospel truth about life is the fact that we can’t have it all, no matter how much you try – you will always be in need. Humans are designed to have unlimited wants but not all our wants are our needs. A lot of people are chasing wants daily and leaving their needs behind, of course whenever they fail in their chase, it usually results into sadness.

Take a relationship or marriage for instance, many relationships have been broken as a result of one or both partners having a different expectation from each other.  You can’t attempt to fix what is not broken; any attempt to do such is to eventually have that broken! In most cases we can turn what we have into what we need but majority of us want it all - including what we can’t have!

Comparison – Another major cause of unhappiness is comparing notes with other people, Mr A is doing better than me even though I am struggling more, Ms B is more beautiful than me! John has a better house! Racheal is driving a better car than me!

Beyond the surface – there is a chance that those we are looking up to would do anything to trade lives with us! Racheal driving a fancy car could be in a massive debt and just living for the glam! John who is living in a mansion could be owing the bank more than the worth of the house we are seeing! That Beautiful Ms B could be suffering from an incurable disease and just making herself happy for her numbered months/years on this planet!

We are attracted to success but not the challenges or the process, the rich also cry just as their path to success wasn’t paved easy either, it is never a smart idea to compare our life with others, they paid their dues and having their own share of misfortune without our knowledge.

Competition – They did that and I must do it too! They did this and I must do it too! They have this and that and I must give it all it takes to have it too! That path is leading nowhere but ruins, you will keep running without anyone or anything coming after you. The fact that you desire it doesn’t mean that you can afford it.

If there is anyone you must be in competition with then let it be yourself, any attempt to compete with people that you have no clue what their story is or how they managed to arrive at that position that you are now trying to emulate would lead you to sadness.

Mr A was born into a royal and wealthy home – Mr B on the other hand was born in a poor home but as fate would have it, they end up as best friends in college, they remained as friends after college and always hanging out and doing things in common.

Here is the twist, they earn same salary and work with the same company – but Mr B missed the part where Mr A doesn’t have to work to be comfortable and same can’t be said of him, whenever they are out to chill, as Mr A is spending so is Mr B, they pop champagne and party together every weekend. Whenever Mr A buys a latest gadget for himself, Mr B is never left behind – my friend got it and I have to get it too – in the process, things that actually needs Mr.B attention are being left unattended for his loyalty to his friend and trying live up to standard – unfortunately, he can’t afford it.

Competing in a race that you are bound to lose is a shortcut to debt, sadness and even worse depression.

Letting Go – Another major factor of unhappiness is our incapability as human to identify when something or someone is not meant for us. It is very okay for people not to want to be with you or just don’t like you, that’s not a crime but it is a self-crime when you insist on being in their life when it’s evident that they don’t give a f..k about you – Learn to let it go.

The only thing that’s capable of hurting you is that thing that you are attached to emotionally. We must know when to detach emotion and think with the head rather than the heart. Be it ordinary food – if you eat so much of a particular type of food, you would end up hating it that food due to the abuse – everything must be done moderately

Happiness is a choice that we must prioritize but it must be within our ability and affordability.