I Want To But I Don’t Want To – The Unfortunate Act Of Self-Doubt And Mind Dancing.

I Want To But I Don’t Want To – The Unfortunate Act Of Self-Doubt And Mind Dancing.

Most of us are stagnant and unable to get out of the same zone we are even though some part of us are yearning for that change or aiming at that desired element.

It usually starts domestically; we sometimes never know what to wear for that occasion or what time to get off the bed to meet up with that appointment. Many questions start racing through our minds – should I wear this? Oh no, I will look too slutty, should I wear the lacy one? Nah it doesn’t fit the occasion, oh how about this one I got for my birthday? Nah I will look like a teenager and at the end of the day, we usually go back to that first choice.

On various occasions – many of us must have found ourselves saying YES to a request and to later say NO to the same thing, even though nothing has changed between the times. That’s the mind of a human being at work! That we accept to do something is never an agreement with the proposer but it’s either the timing or the fear of the consequence when the proposer is turned down.

Whenever you have a decision to step on and do something and only for you to back-track out of fear or doubting your ability – what’s taking place here is you not believing in yourself or that you are capable to carry out the task, which unfortunately is sending a signal to others that you are not only weak but unable to embrace challenges.

The way the human race is built, once we are in a comfortable place, we usually find it difficult to get out of that zone. We never want to know whatever is going on outside that zone, we naturally lack interest in every other zone and sector, we simply want to remain as the “Alpha” and “Omega” of that corner and in the process, we are missing out on the larger part of the cake. A man who purposely limits his own ability as a result of having tasted some “icing” on a cake – such man conveniently forgets that there is still a complete cake out there awaiting to be devoured and the same man is in that state “hoping” that someday he can actually taste the cake where the “icing” came from.

Majority of us, we have the desire, wants and wishes but the fear in us outweighs the actual desire, each time we make a plan to go ahead and kick start the process towards that the desire, that fear in us takes over and we let go –then we are back to square one hiding under the easy route and the common phrase “there is still time” – there is never a right time to do anything you desire because as you are dreaming of it, many are working for it and putting in all the sacrifices to make it a reality.

Life as it is – is a race and survival of the fittest. The moment you realize what your dream is, a new project is born that day, any other thoughts after that hour and day becomes your plan towards that dream materializing – you are now on the clock to beat every other dreamer to the finish line. 

Now here is the twist that’s not visible to most of us. In your head – you are the only person on that race and you can decide to take a rest whenever you just feel like, well that’s not exactly true. There are over 7.6billion people on this planet and you just happened to be just one person out of this multitude of people, the chances of you having one idea that no one else does is practically impossible. So in other words, the moment your idea is born – you have lost the right to take a break until the finish line; a lot of factors are against your plan. 

Number 1 – you are starting late no matter how early you think you have planned, many people are way ahead of you with the hope that no one else comes behind them, many bridges have been burnt, many rivers dried up – so many man-made hurdles along the route to deter anyone else coming along.

Number 2 - You still have to deal with the people that are starting with you and they are fully determined to get to their destination with no competition in sight. 

My dear brethren - With all the competition and hurdles around you, there is really no time to rest, doubt your ability, postpone or procrastinate.

It’s amazing to dream but it’s more amazing to chase that dream to reality. Dream as high as you can but also be willing to put in the effort as much as required – if not it’s just a dream!